Let me start by saying a big thank you to Titi and Suzan for their comments. I am really happy the last message has been a blessing to you.
Last time we started talking about Unequal Yoking. I will like to continue from where I stopped.
Imagine you have two people who want to carry a long table and one of them is a six footer, while the other is a three footer. You can imagine what the two parties will go through carrying the table because they are not of the same height.
The truth of the matter is that you might never find two people of same height but then there’s a need to get someone who is within the same range. To say I am looking for someone just like me with same family background, tribe, church, school, experiences blah blah blah will not just be realistic. Nevertheless, there must be some equality especially spiritually. What Bible says is “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers”. God expects the core of our being to come from our spirituality. As Christians, our whole life should revolve around our relationship with God. I don’t know if you are like me but nothing works around me when I am not in tune with God. And from experience I know that in marriage you will do yourself a lot of good by marrying someone you share core spiritual beliefs with.
You can appear to be unequally yoked with a fellow believer, not because of the difference in your denominations but in your beliefs. Take for example one party believes in speaking in tongues and the other does not, one believes you should guard your heart with all diligence and that affects music, movies and all, while the other party does not think so. I could go on and on.
For a single reading this article, I think this is a time for you to identify your core values as they will help you in choosing your spouse. Identify what you can live with and what you cannot.
Many Christians take for granted the fact that a person’s background can have serious influence on the life of such person and your marriage. Please don’t get me wrong, I know we do not have the opportunity to choose our background (that is our family) and it should not be held against a person, nevertheless, I believe you should have an idea of what you are going in for and choose to accept or reject it.
Take for example the story of Dipo who is in a Christan relationship with Kenny who has promiscuous sisters. Kenny is a good girl alright but she doesn’t have good influence from her family members and these people are not people Dipo can yank out of her life. Dipo will have to go ahead bearing the fact that he will have to deal with this people directly or indirectly, at the same time Kenny can convince Dipo that her family will not influence their marriage in any way.
Many Christians have missed this fact. Remember Abraham told his servant to go back to his father’s house to go and look for a wife for his son. He took this so seriously that he asked that his servant swear to him.
May be you are married and reading this and somehow you realize you and your spouse seem to be unequally yoked in many ways, all hope is not lost. While going through marriage counseling before marriage, we shared a prayer “Lord help me to accept the things I cannot change and also gracefully change the things I can”. Always pray about those things that really bother you about your spouse and be very patient. Cover up your spouse deficiencies and be strong.
Here is the bottom line, you will never find two people of same spirituality, values, background etc but then similarities must out number differences especially Spiritual similarities.
God bless you as you seek to do His will beyond yours!
Love,
– omolola ezeifeoma
| Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as dove. Mat 10:16
He that diggeth a pit shall fall into it; and whoso breaketh a hedge, a serpent shall bite him Ecc 10:8.
There’s a burden that I have carried for a while now about Christian relationships, because of a trend I have noticed. In recent times I have seen quite a number of Christian relationships break up. And this trend really bugs me and makes me wonder why? So many questions come to mind. I ask myself what did they do or didn’t do? Is it that God isn’t speaking any more? What exactly is happening to us? I think there is something we are not really getting right about Christianity and Relationships. I have found that in some cases the problem is that either or both parties are too carnal or appear to be too spiritual about issues. I have heard it being said many times even by Christians, that when it comes to relationships, there’s nothing spiritual about it. But you know what; in my life I have found this to be false. I have come to realize that not heeding to God’s word really is the problem we face.
Let me share this story with you. Sade is a nice Christian girl. She went for a Christian program recently and she met Jade a brother there. After the program, addresses were exchanged and both parties kept contact. Soon Sade realized that Jade was into pornography and porn wasn’t a torn in the flesh he was dealing with, but a lifestyle he enjoyed. The friendship was maintained and soon Jade began to ask Sade to marry him. Sade was confused; she didn’t know what to do. Somehow she’s been emotionally attached to this guy and now with all the new discoveries, she’s confused.
Let me stop here so we can analyse this together. Sade didn’t do anything wrong by meeting a brother at a Christian gathering and exchanging details, keeping in touch wasn’t wrong either. But when she found out that this so called brother was into Porn and enjoying every bit of it without any form of remorse, what should she have done? How did she get friendly enough for this bro to be asking her hand in marriage and to top it all, how did she get emotionally attached to an unbeliever? In the first few articles I posted on this site, we talked about love, if you haven’t read it, I think you should because it will help you understand me better. How come Sade did not take to her heels when she found out about Jade’s Porn troubles? Didn’t it tell her that Jade wasn’t so much of a Christian as he claimed? Another question is how come Sade a Christian babe could be attracted to a sinner man? The truth is that someone reading this article will be quick to say Sade was not a Christian in the first place but you know what, when you meet Sade you’ll admire her Christianity.
Lets say Sade was trying to help him be a Christian, good but did she forget that passage where Paul said “Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such a one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted”. The latter part of that passage is what Sade forgot to take note of. The first part stuck so much. That takes me back to the two passages I started with where Jesus explained our situation to us. We are sheep amongst wolves; we should be cautious with unbelievers because we are not of this world. We need to be wiser than the serpent himself (the devil). He knows no matter how spiritual we might claim to be we are human and he is just looking for that little space to creep in.
Sometime ago I was in my room and God just gave me the opportunity to see what the danger of breaking the edge is. Because of the snakes nature he needs only a little space to be able to get through a hole. It is able to cunningly squeeze itself through a little space to get to the other side. So God began to show me how I have let the enemy have space in my marriage. You may have fallen into the same mistakes too at one point or the other in your life. He showed me how I gave the devil space by allowing arguments to drag for so long? How I try to absolve myself from any mistake in our marriage? How I see myself as the perfect person when I have issues of my own? How I allowed the devil toy with my mind, explaining my husband thoughts to me? And so on. I could go on and on.
You know what? I think you should meditate a little on these things, especially the scriptures and see how they affect you. We do experience similar issues here or there Remember the only way to keep our way pure is by heeding to God’s word. See you soon.
Love omolola ezeifeoma |