No doubt, finding a wife or husband is one of the most tasking challenges single people go through. That does not mean all single people have to go through the same experiences. However, if you are in the process of looking for a spouse, I would like to share with you some useful ideas. My prayer is that God will lead you to the right person He has for you. And that brings about a point I need to explain briefly:

Is there a right person for someone to marry?

Without any hesitation, I say yes. God has a plan for your life. That plan includes who you marry. Just as you have to discover (not create) your destiny, so also you have to find (not create) who your spouse is. “The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22, NLT). When people feel they could just marry whoever they see fit, God may not stop them. But they would have to live with the consequences of their decisions. So, there is someone meant for you as your spouse.

“How can I find her or him”, you ask.

Delight in God

“Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart”, (Psalm 37:4, NIV). Your starting point is with God. He is the Alpha, the Beginning. Pray to Him about your desire to marry. Trust Him to lead you in the right direction. Be sincere about accepting whoever God reveals to you as your spouse. Marriage is His idea. He knows who you truly need. He has the best for you but His best sometimes may not look as good as you want. Be careful not to look down on anyone. Be careful not to reject a gift because of the wrappers. Relax! Delight in His choice and you will later find out that God is always good.

Prepare yourself

Getting married should not be a race to see who gets to the altar first. It is not a competition to find out who could get married before whom. 2 Chronicles 27:6 says, “So Jotham became mighty, because he prepared his ways before the LORD his God”, (KJV). Do you want to be a great wife or husband? Do you want to have a great marriage? Then you need to prepare yourself. Arithmetically, ½ + ½ = 1. But when it comes to marriage, half plus half do not make a whole. Do not go into marriage because you are hurting or bleeding from past pains. You need time to be healed, restored, and made whole. God “heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds”, (Psalm 147:3, NIV). Relationship is a mutual sharing of lives between people. While God is working on your future spouse, let Him help you too to prepare yourself. That way, both of you would be a blessing to each other.

Use your gift of discernment.

You need it so much in this regard. A lot of guys tend to appear somehow lower in status than the ladies they are intending to marry. Dear sister, use your discernment before turning him down. Some ladies also had gone through some rough experiences that could discourage some men. Dear brother, exercise the wisdom of God before giving up on her. Joseph attempted to reject Mary because of her pregnancy. But God’s best deal for Joseph was Mary.

Look for someone to love

Are you searching for a Mr. or Miss Perfect? Someone out of this world? Quit wasting your time. The promise from God is that He will bless you with a “helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary)” for you, (Genesis 2:18, AMP). Avoid setting unnecessary standard that could hinder you. Go for God’s promise, someone you could love for the rest of your life. Relate with singles. Come out of your shell. If you lock up yourself in a room for the next 10 years, how will you meet your spouse? There is a place for relating with singles even as you trust God to send you your spouse. Without being immorally flirtatious, get to know more about people who would like to marry you.

God is at work in your marital life, never stop rejoicing and praising Him.

victor adeola king