Make walking in the Spirit a lifestyle …
I recall playing games with my relatives when I wanted to introduce my fiancee (now my wife) to them. I had two pictures for the game; one tucked in my right trouser pocket and the other in the left pocket. After discussing my conviction to marry her and how wonderful she is, they were really eager to see her picture. Unlike today that we could have so many pictures on our phones to display, it was novel at that time to have a phone take and store pictures. So I dipped my hand into my right pocket and brought out the picture I took with a missionary who was about 5 years older than me. We had taken this picture looking exhausted after returning from a missionary trip in Niger state, Nigeria. Her dress was rugged for the mission trip, while her hair was covered with a headscarf and of course there was no makeup on her face. I handed this picture to my relatives while I fastened my gaze on their faces. I could not believe the conversation that ensued.
There was a deep silence in the room, then after a few seconds one of my relatives sighed and asked – “are you sure this lady is the will of God for your life?” While I was thinking of the best way to respond, another mentioned – “well, I really don’t know what to say”. I was perplexed by the expressions of disappointment I got that day and I had to quickly tell them that was the wrong picture. I brought out the picture of my wife dressed gorgeously in her Sunday best, taken by a very good photographer. “Wow!” Their faces came alive as they were hugging me and confirming to me that … “yes, this looks like ‘the will of God for you’”. Although I should have been happy at such a rousing acceptance, I was very sorrowful, because this is a classic example of how believers of today may miss the move of God in their lives when they make judgments based on outward appearances.
Our generation favours the spectacular, but spiritual things are not always spectacular. Many people miss out on the great things God wants them to do just because those things show up in unassuming ways, just as Jesus Christ was born in a manger. If we must always make miraculous decisions that will bring about powerful outcomes in our lives and on those around us, we must train ourselves to identify and follow the nudging of God in our hearts, even when they don’t appear spectacular. You will agree that some things may be attractive today, but detestable tomorrow. Therefore, we need to learn to see with our inner eyes.
Prophet Isaiah described the lifestyle of people that will walk with God under the new covenant when he said in Isaiah 60:19 “The sun shall be no more thy light by day; neither for brightness shall the moon give light unto thee: but the Lord shall be unto thee an everlasting light, and thy God thy glory.” Believers in Jesus Christ have been wired to make miraculous decisions based on following the Lord’s prompting and not what their physical senses perceive. The light from the sun and moon helps us see spectacular things around us, but Prophet Isaiah is saying that our guiding light is from within. That means even if there were 1000 women in a dark hall and we were led by the Holy Spirit to identify Tope’s wife among them, all believers ought to get it right even if they have not met her before. This will not happen because they saw a picture or they were aided by the light of the sun, but because of the everlasting light within that brings constant illumination on ALL issues of life. Hallelujah!
Philippians 2:13 says “For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure”. He helps us to make the right decisions and produces the right actions that agree with His planned destination for us. We do not need to wait for a spectacular loud voice before we say God has spoken. We need to train ourselves daily to constantly understand how He nudges our hearts to take the right decisions. That is the way of the Spirit we have been wired to live. When you want to make a decision, don’t consult Google first. Stop looking for a ‘big bang’ sign. Start paying attention to the nudging of God in your heart even for small things like choosing which road to take when driving – He is already at work in you. Learn to listen to God’s nudging in your heart and the corresponding actions you take to that effect will catapult you to greater heights. It doesn’t matter the number of options around you, as long as you train yourself to pay attention to God’s voice and follow what He tells you to do, you will make miraculous decision that will translate to supernatural experiences in your life.
– Tope Aladenusi
Overcoming the biggest enemy of miraculous decision making
One of the most startling verses I have ever read in life is – Matthew 6:24 where Jesus Christ said “No one can have two masters … you cannot serve both God and money” (NIV). I was astonished by this verse because I was expecting to read something like “you cannot serve both God and the devil”. So finding money take such a position was surprising. I later gained better understanding of this concept of the wrong attitude towards money in I Timothy 6:10 (NIV) – “for the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil”.
What is the “love of money” and why did Jesus Christ place serving money as the major hindrance to serving God?
Serving God involves living a life that pleases Him and doing what He wills. It means allowing God to control your time, decisions and actions. When you serve God, your biggest passion is about having more of God’s attributes in your life.
Serving and loving money is the complete opposite; it involves living a life obsessed with the accumulation of money in the pursuit of pleasure. It is a desire to pursue money primarily for your usage, identity and security. Money is neither moral nor immoral. It is our attitude towards money that matters. That is why the “love of money” (not just “money”) is what the bible talks about as a root of all kinds of evil, and this is the biggest enemy to making miraculous decisions.
How do you know if you are currently plagued with the ‘love of money’ disease? Some of the symptoms include lying, stealing, gambling, cheating, corruption and murder in an attempt to gain more of it. Many people today do all these and even more to increase their potential to get more money. However, the love of money disease has more subtle symptoms – for instance, preaching, listening to or searching out money-making messages over other messages that will help or aid spiritual growth. Have you noticed that most messages in some Christian circles today are centred on money (or “making it)? A person’s prayer life is also a pointer – either there is insufficient time devoted to prayer due to work pressures (the job that brings money), or when we even pray, the prayer points are focused on what God needs to do to bless us materially. Even giving to the work of God primarily to receive more money or to avoid the devourer from touching what you already have is another symptom of the disease. A believer with a heart of genuine service to God gives because he loves God and His work, and not primarily to avoid devourers.
Let’s face it, the love of money has eaten deeply into today’s church, and that is why we do not make miraculous decisions or operate in the miraculous like God wants. The love of money will make you cruise in another realm that is far below the realm of the Spirit. It wants to make you operate at a disastrous level, when you should be at a miraculous level. Judas Iscariot made a disastrous decision to betray Christ because of the love of money; Paul made miraculous decisions because he dealt with this widespread weakness – for instance, rather than stay in Jerusalem where there were established structures and generous donations (like some pastors would do today), he went to the gentiles based on God’s leading. Today, we have a miracle in our hands – he wrote most of the New Testament books. At some point, he was taking donations to the churches in Jerusalem that initially had more money. Paul wrote to Timothy in I Tim. 6:17 “(KJVA) “Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy”. Paul admonishes us to still put our focus and trust in God, no matter the material blessings we have.
Several years ago when I began to study this plague and how to overcome it, I stumbled on 2 passages that really helped me. Romans 12:21 talked about overcoming evil with good, while Luke 18:18 – 23 describes the story of a man who claimed to have kept all the commandments of God since he was young yet asked Jesus what he needed to do to inherit eternal life. When Jesus told the man to sell all he had and follow him, the man went away sorrowful. If Jesus had given you a similar instruction, what would your response be? Can you give out all you have and start afresh with God? I recommend answering this question sincerely at least once every year.
I recently shared my experience in obeying God (and learning from Romans 12:21) by giving generously to support the ministry, how I set “giving goals” each year and how God has been helping me to fulfil the goals even if it means emptying my bank account. To my utmost surprise, within one week of discussing this, many brethren who attended that meeting came to ask me for money to the tune of over four million naira. Apart from reminding them that during the message, I said my account became empty for the particular example I shared, I became more aware of how deeply this plague had eaten into the body of Christ. It appeared that the message was lost and the money became the new focus. Please do not let it happen to you after reading this!
Leaders are often required to make challenging decisions that affect not just their destinies, but the destinies of several people they lead. When our hearts are saturated with the love of money, then all kinds of evil decisions that will indirectly destroy our lives and that of our followers will erupt. The Message translation of I Timothy 6:9-10 reads “But if it’s only money these leaders are after, they’ll self-destruct in no time …” Let’s consciously address the ‘love of money’ in our lives so we can always make decisions that bring about positive and powerful events in our lives and those of our followers.
– Tope S. Aladenusi
How do you make miraculous decisions?
One good question to ask in order to answer the question above is – how do we make up our minds? If we are able to ascertain the inputs in our decision making process, as well as the processing of the inputs that bring about an output called decision, then we can take charge of the input and processing phases of the process of making up our minds. With that, just like the computer, the output of this process can be predictable.
The computer was modelled after man. It has the input unit (e.g. keyboard, scanner, etc.), the processing unit (memory, processor, etc.) and the output unit (monitor screen, printer, etc.). Thus, if you type “Jesus” in MS-Word (a word processor), you will see “Jesus” on your screen. The output can be further processed by applying different formats and fonts. You cannot type “devil” on your keyboard and “Jesus” will appear on the screen even though you were shouting Jesus at the top of your voice as you were typing. Unfortunately that is the way I see many Christians behave today, including pastors. The inputs to the lives of many are largely controlled by the devil, but we want to shout the name of Jesus in prayers and vigils, and we want Jesus-like results to show in our lives. It doesn’t work that way.
When you want to make up your mind on any matter, your mind considers its frame of reference from its reference catalogue and takes a position. This “reference catalogue” can be summarised as all that we have been exposed to over time via our input units (eyes, ears, skin, etc.). The inputs to our decision making includes the knowledge our souls have been exposed to (books, movies, conversations, messages, bible, etc.); our background and experiences in life; the people we have associated with (friends, family, mentors); our environment (community, church) and feelings; as well as The Holy Spirit of God. The things you exposed yourself to yesterday are currently influencing your decisions today and the things you expose yourself to today will influence your decisions tomorrow. Therefore, in order to make miraculous decisions, we must ensure we take control of the birth place of decision making – the soul, and put appropriate measures in place to ensure that we feed it with the right inputs. Proverbs 4:23 (MSG) says, keep vigilant watch over your heart; that’s where life starts.
Knowledge greatly affects your decision making. Research shows that the soul can store up to fifteen trillion facts; therefore everything you have gone through in life is siting somewhere in your soul’s reference catalogue. You reference them consciously or unconsciously during decision making. When I was young and unmarried, I saw that many marriages were failing and because I did not want to get into something that would fail, I made a decision not to get married in life. I wanted to be like Apostle Paul in the bible. By the time I got into the university, I told my friends that I was never going to get married. My past experiences influenced that decision. Eventually, I got married before most of my friends because that decision was changed; it was influenced by something higher than my past experiences. It was influenced by the Word of God.
Sometimes the facts you reference during decision making (e.g. your background like my example above) are beyond your control, but you can get into a “resetting and editing mode” when you get born again. You can put those facts under subjection to the Word of God. You can take them one by one and evaluate them with the message and revelation of Christ. This must be done consciously so that when next your soul makes reference to that fact, there is another link (further reference) to the Word because you have updated your catalogue or “database” (soul) during your time of meditation.
I like what Romans 12: 2 says – And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
We must consciously renew and keep our minds/souls guarded from useless information. Check the movies and books/articles you expose yourself to. Your life is not a garbage can so you should not be a dumping site for anything anyone conjectures up anywhere in the world. You have to be very selective with your inputs if you must be effective with your outputs. Don’t join those who say they while away time by lousy “gisting”.
If we must make miraculous decisions, we must take control of what goes into our souls and let the Word of God be the major influence of the decisions we make in life. If we don’t consciously get the Word to reset, edit and refresh our souls, then we are unconsciously allowing the devil to do so with the negative exposures we have had.
– Tope S. Aladenusi
Positioning yourself to always make miraculous decisions
In the last post of this series, we described miraculous decisions as the act of making up one’s mind by the power and purpose of God. This will in turn bring about some positive and powerful events in your life; it will make you live within the boundaries of God’s plan for your life. We also emphasised that when we gave our lives to Christ, we took a decision and a miracle occurred – we instantly received the life of God in our spirits. It is important we continue to live our lives in the same manner. We got born again by a miracle, we ought to constantly live in miracles the same way a fish that is born in water will need to remain in water to survive and thrive.
Today, we will discuss one sure way to take control of your conscious and unconscious decisions (and most decisions are unconscious anyway e.g. the decision to look downwards, touch your nose, drive your car in a particular way, etc.). We need to ensure that we make the right long term decisions or set the right long term goals for our lives. This is because this helps regulate other smaller short term / medium term decisions, whether consciously or unconsciously made.
A student in the university who is determined to graduate with a first class honours grade knows that his/her friends can make or mar the academic goal. The time spent doing things that are less important can hinder his/her progress just as the time spent studying helps make progress towards the desired goal. Hence, the decision to achieve academic excellence will help him/her regulate the conscious and unconscious decision-making pattern while on campus.
What are your long term goals in life? Some leaders have decided to impact their generation in a uniquely indelible way before they die, while mentoring others that will outperform them. Some others have set in their hearts that no one in their ministry or organisation will ever beat “their records”. Once we make our long term decisions, whether good or bad, we get into an auto-cruise mode such that our unconscious decisions and other smaller conscious decisions start regulating themselves to achieve that big long term decision. This is why we must know our purpose in life, because long term decisions help us know what our lives are about and clearly states what we want to achieve in life.
Jesus Christ said if your eye is single, then your whole body will be full of light (Mat 6:22). The Bible records in Hebrews 12:2 that Jesus endured the cross because of the joy set before him of having many sons for God. That long term decision regulated his life, and here is what He has to say about something that should be our life goal:
John 7:17 (AMP) – If any man desires to do His will (God’s pleasure), he will know (have the needed illumination to recognize, and can tell for himself) whether the teaching is from God or whether I am speaking from Myself and of My own accord and on My own authority.
I love this verse. It elucidates that taking that “big” decision to always do God’s purpose gives the necessary illumination we need to recognize consciously or unconsciously the right things to do, which includes knowing whether Jesus is of God or not. This is one deep secret to making miraculous decisions. In fact our greatest miracle took place when we aligned with God’s will by accepting the salvation of Jesus Christ. The next big step is to decide to live entirely for God and His purpose.
The truth is that many born again persons, including leaders in the church do not have this long term goal. If their hearts are searched deeply, their long term goals are things like – I will make it in this life (by which they mean, I will also be influential and popular in this life); or I will never suffer again and ensure my generations never experience poverty, etc. As nice as these may sound, they are too small to replace our life goals because a decision to live for the purpose of God overtakes such goals, allowing us to experience the love and prosperity of God.
Being born again, this is the next most pivotal decision to take. Will you genuinely take it today if you have not– to live for God’s purpose and pleasure all the days of your life? With this, you are uniquely positioned to always make miraculous decisions.
Tope Aladenusi
Great leaders are great decision makers. Look around you today and reflect on the life of any great leader you know; they are usually labelled great because of some profound things they do which are consequences of some decisions they had made at some point in their lives.
Pastor Enoch Adeboye is regarded by many as one of the most influential leaders in our day. His level of influence as a pastor and church leader has been the subject of debate in many quarters. But the interesting thing is that he used to be a full time lecturer before making the decision to go into full time pastoral and evangelistic work. I’d like you to imagine Pastor Adeboye today still as a full time lecturer in the university? There is no doubt that his identity and destiny today is greatly determined by the decision he made yesterday.
As leaders, each second is an opportunity to steer our lives in the right direction by making decisions we are conscious or unconscious about (Research shows that our minds can handle 15,000 decisions in one second, so most of our decisions are unconscious and we need to learn how to take charge of them). We cannot afford the risk of going too far too fast only for us to realise that we have been on the wrong road. Imagine if Apostle Paul remained a Pharisee? Or if Samson did not make the decision to rollick or frolic with Delilah? Imagine if we avoided make all the wrong decisions we make today in our ministries, families, careers and marriages?
Leaders are often required to make challenging decisions that affect not just their destinies, but those that they lead. I personally believe that as believers, we should train ourselves to constantly make miraculous decisions that will bring about positive events in our lives and of those who follow us.
So this series is not just about making decisions, but about making miraculous decisions. Why miraculous decisions?
Colossians 2:6 (AMP) says “As ye have therefore received Christ [even] Jesus the Lord, [so] walk (regulate your lives and conduct yourselves) in union with and conformity to Him.
When we gave our lives to Christ, we took a decision and a miracle occurred – we instantly received the life of God in our spirits. It is important we continue to live our lives in the same manner of miracles as we did when we got born again – by a miracle. The same way a fish that is born in water will need to remain in water to survive and thrive, we ought to constantly live in miracles. Also, just as a baby in the womb needs food, water and oxygen to survive, and the same is needed for a child to be sustained towards healthy living, believers must thrive in the same thing that brought about our emergence as Christians. Interestingly, any time our will aligns with the will of God, a miracle occurs even though it may not be spectacular. We cannot claim that we live, move and have our being in Christ, and our decisions and actions are not constantly punctuated by miracles. That is a paradox!
Decisions drive actions; just as you had to make a decision before reading this article. Decisions determine destiny; you are where you are today as a result of the decisions you made in the past and where you will be tomorrow will also be a result of the decisions you make today. As leaders, knowing that our decisions have consequences on other people’s destinies should ensure that we make miraculous decisions like we have been wired to do.
What is a miraculous decisions? It is the act of making up one’s mind by the power and purpose of God. This will in turn bring about some positive and powerful events in your life; it will make you live in the boundaries of God’s plan for your life. Making miraculous decisions will make you live a fulfilled life and position you as an excellent leader after God’s heart.
We will discuss how to make miraculous decisions in the subsequent editions of this write-up.
Tope S. Aladenusi
In his book, Talent is never enough; John C. Maxwell highlighted five types of people you are likely to encounter:
Getting a helicopter view of your life entails examining the influential people in your life and ascertaining which category they fall into. This should determine how you would continue relating with them. Remember the popular saying – “you cannot fly with the eagles if you scratch with the chickens.” Some of us need to change the people in our inner circle; others need to refresh their pool of friends; and a few of us may just need to change our church if we are not growing there. You should also evaluate your relationship with your spouse to identify areas where you need to make profitable adjustments. Above all, you should evaluate your person. If your friends were to place you in any of these 5 categories, where would you fall? In addition, you should never forget that as a believer, you have the power that raised Christ from the dead dwelling in you and you can do all things. However, the person that is most powerful to hinder your progress is you. What are the internal changes you require to help you advance towards your purpose? D. L Moody once said, “I have never met a man who has given me much trouble as myself.” If you would look deep inside you, I believe you will also see many troubles you are giving yourself and I trust God to assist you in addressing them. Tope S. Aladenusi This write-up was culled from the article – The helicopter view of a leader’s life. Visit www.topealadenusi.com to read preceding parts of this article. |
Children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God. John 1 :13 (New International Version)
I just couldn’t help but give more than a cursory look to the scripture above. Today I trust God to lead us in a logical discourse ‘on being born not of natural descent’.
A lot is attached to our natural descent. Our lineage as it is sometimes rendered. A genetic tree is perhaps common. Many have gone to extreme lengths to find out their origin. For those who know, it is jealously guarded and lifted like a trophy. I remember back in school days, it was sacrilegious for just about anyone to address you by your surname unless during a roll call. It was the easiest way to start a fight back then. It sounded like you just insulted a whole generation. If you must do so it is with a whole lot of courtesy.
The bible however is emphatic in addressing the new birth by first telling us what not to ascribe it to. While our natural birth into this world could be viewed from such an angle, we shouldn’t think the same of our new birth. We are not just part of a long line of people. Our existence and our role are not defined by such – Acts 17:29. We are not just called to live and make sure things don’t get messed up at our end. Our targets and goals ought not to be limited to our natural descent.
God says we are different. We are children ‘not of a natural descent’.
Our heritage is now heavenly. Which means our outlook should be heavenly, our limitations also heavenly, our motivations heavenly – Col 3:1 – 4
So glorious that the bible says we are surrounded by witnesses who testify to this truth
– Heb 12:1 – 2
As long as we dwell on the physical, we would not manifest in line with the huge deposit God has placed in us. Rom 8:5 – 9
Every child of God without exception is blessed to be a blessing – Eph 1:3, 1ST Pet 2:9. We are a sign and a wonder to our generation.
It is so vital scriptures state that the whole of creation is waiting for you and I to manifest in line with what God has deposited within us – Rom 8:16 – 19. It is not for some select few. Only angels are permitted to be spectators here – 1ST Pet. 1:12. We ought to live out this reality.
Are you still viewing yourself from the scope of your natural descent? Our family is like this or my family is like that. My people don’t usually… And so on and so forth. Reassess rather who you are gazing on.
We are called of God. We are birthed of God. My limitation is that of God.
Col 3:1 – 3 puts it succinctly ‘If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is sitting at the right hand of God. Be mindful of things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life has been hidden with Christ in God’.
Having this armamentarium, I realise nothing shall be called impossible. I don’t wish away my existence because of some temporal challenges or trials but realise I was made for such a time as this.
I AM A CHILD OF THE MOST HIGH GOD. THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS!
– Dr. Bolaji Akanni
(All scriptures quoted from the King James version (KJV) unless otherwise stated)
| One of my most challenging experiences in ministry occurred last year when we went to India for our World Outreach Convention (WoC) and also to commission a mission house Christ Lifeline donated to Paul Ministry. I have interacted with believers in several cities and countries but I discovered a number of remarkable attributes about the brethren we met in India. I encountered some events that caused me to reappraise my Christianity and how most of us practice it. Let me share one of these attributes with you today.We had just commissioned the mission house and suddenly felt the nudging to minister to the sick that were present. After we had prayed for the sick, a lady walked up to me and told me she wanted me to pray for her. I inquired what her “prayer point” was and I wasn’t expecting what I heard. In my entire life in the service of God, I have not heard anyone make such prayer requests. As I prayed for her, I was cautious to choose the right words as my mind raced in an attempt to understand the sincerity and motive behind the request. I kept thinking about that prayer point all thorough that day and I haven’t forgotten it even today.
Her simple prayer request was – “please pray for me, I want to win more souls for God”. Beloved, have you ever prayed such a prayer? When was the last time your prayers reverberated around this point? It is the beginning of the year and many of us have several fasting programs; is our fast all about us or does it include a burden for souls as well? I saw the Indian brethren fasting for souls to be won to the kingdom of God and I said to myself – do they serve the same God we serve back home? I tried to flip through some scripture in my mind – especially from the time Jesus Christ rose from the dead, and it dawned on me again that the prayers in the book of Acts of the Apostles down to Revelation greatly differ from the ones many of us chant today. As I write this piece, my eyes fill with tears and I am sobered by the central focus of a prayer centered on our collective purpose as believers. For “God has given us this task of reconciling people to Him” (2 Corinthians 5:18 – NLT). I am challenged to make a difference by devoting my prayer, family, time and resources to the business of soul winning for God’s kingdom. What about you? – Tope S. Aladenusi |
Have you ever found yourself in a situation that you are confessing so many things concerning a situation in your life and when it gets to praying about it, you could not utter a word? Could it be your marriage? Your spouse has hurt you in so many ways that instead of praying for him to change you wish God could just get you out of this web you have found yourself in!
I have Word for your today. Give God all the pieces of your broken heart; for a broken and contrite heart God never ignores.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise. Psalms 51:17
Speak to God like you know He knows all your thoughts about your home. Be real with God. Tell Him exactly how you feel and ask Him to heal your heart, give you fresh hope and zeal for your home.
Don’t give up yet, your family may have, your friends may have given up but God has not. If He did not withhold His Son, He will not withhold healing from your home!
He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?Rom 8:32
Shalom!
-Omolola Ezeifeoma
While growing up, my mother reared chickens, not ‘agric fowls’ as we called broilers but the native kind that would lay eggs, hatch them, etc. My sisters and I learnt something very fast about the mother hen. When it started to incubate its eggs/hatch them, the docile hen changed into a fierce, attack-at-the-slightest-no-nonsense hen. Up till today, whenever I see a mother hen with freshly hatched chicks, I give it a wide berth. That hen can chase and attack any and every one it perceives as a threat to the well-being of its chicks. Female animals with young ones are known to be deadly (with some exceptions), deadlier than their male counterparts. A lioness with cubs, a she-bear with cubs are good examples but to name a few.
And so we come to mothers and mothering. The mother-a beautiful species of being with the ability to bring forth, nurture, train, protect and the list is endless. The woman is so designed that she can keep the home, raise the children, work a job and do all excellently. Different roles, one person. That is who God made the woman to be, and before proceeding, this is to say a big thumbs up, thank you, well done to all the mothers out there. Yours may seem like a thankless job but God sees, He hears, He applauds and His reward is sure. Keep up the good work sister!
In the beginning, God……, and that is where the job of every mother starts; with God. It is the smart and savvy woman that knows to spend time with God every day, and time means exactly that- T-I-M-E. Non-negotiable. You will never know how much your life will transform until you know to withdraw, to replenish your strength, to get wisdom in the place of fellowship with God (by the way, I believe it is irresponsible parenting to be locked up in your prayer closet while your children run around unattended to. Children by their very nature need constant monitoring.). Whatever you do, let the beauty of your absolute reliance and dependence on God shine through in every situation.
The working mother is an unavoidable subject in this day and age. Upfront, it should be said that the day society, mothers, fathers amongst others began to clamor for equal rights and recognition in the workplace for the woman, the home front and especially the children began to suffer. Society now tells us that a woman is not complete until she is earning a salary with six digits like the men (there is nothing wrong with that by the way). The truth is, God designed that the mother would be the one to spend more time with the children- she is naturally adapted to that task. And so, when the parents, particularly the mother is away from dawn-dusk all weeklong, the children are under direct attack from any and every thing. God did not give you children so that you can delegate their upbringing to someone else. That is one responsibility that cannot be delegated. This is not to say that a woman cannot and should not work but once it conflicts with taking care of the home, the woman is too busy!I believe every mother should be at home with her children once they finish from school, or at least the father. I entirely agree with author Tim Lahaye when he said “today’s emphasis on working mothers (whether it is necessary or not) is destined to create a whole generation of rebellious or insecure young people”. Enough said already? I should hope not.
Raising a child is so delicate that whatever happens to that child in its formative years can make or mar the child. We should consider this fact that just the presence of mummy at home can make a child act right very fast. If that presence is continued from day to day, good habits are formed, bad ones discarded (hopefully) and then it becomes a lifestyle. In no time, a beautiful, responsible. God-loving adult is born. We overlook the evils that can pass over a child just because a parent is present. No sexual molestation, pornography, bad company, lewd talk, bad manners can bypass the watchful eye of a godly mother. Even physical attacks and accidents can be staved off by a woman knowing her place in God. It is true that bad things may still happen whether a parent is present or not, but we can testify, mummy also spells safety and protection.
It is so easy to look at western society today and shake our heads at the level of depravity we see there; children shooting parents, schoolmates, themselves; all sorts of sexual perversion, the presence of all manner of ungodliness. This should be said- one of the root causes was when godless men and women began to propound theories on child training and the Christians accepted those theories as the standard for raising their children. Two, it was decided, and the mothers decided/accepted that they ought to work a job and pull their weight like their male counterparts, and so, with no one to care for the children and teach them good from bad, tell them about God and life, the devil stepped in and is doing an excellent job.
It is a general saying among mothers that having the children around a lot is tiring and draining. And it should be! Child training is work and labour (and of course, a lot of help from the fathers would be very welcome). We expect to be tired when we get back from our jobs but are irritated and feel we have wasted our time and energy when it is spent on our children! We have been so deceived and our priorities so out of place. Child care has been relegated to house helps, nannies, crèches/daycares/schools etc. Let every mother remember that God will judge not just the bible studies we led or how well we sang in the choir but the major fact of how we raised our children. I want to reiterate, you cannot and will never be a success at raising your children unless and until you see them as a priority. It may look like a lot of time to spend, but in some years’ time those children will be gone. Once they get into the university they are out of our lives and direct control forever. For some children it is boarding school, and that is it. Our time of impact and relevance in the lives of our children is limited. Let us make the best use of it now. Remember, “the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world”.
This is not an exhortation to make drastic changes but one to prayerfully take stock of your life and change. And if you are actively fulfilling God’s will for your life as a wife, mother etc, then go girl, keep on keeping on!
-Aghogho Awonusi is a Legal Practitioner that resides in Ibadan. She is happily married and a mother of one.