Some major issues that threaten healthy family life are the hurts and failures of the past. I refer to hurts and failures as one because the points at which one fails usually becomes a hurt on the mind and it keeps haunting you preventing your progress.
For instance, if your husband used to be a non-resident father who will only come home after spending his earnings on loose and riotous living like the prodigal son. But, unlike the prodigal, he kept going back to his vomit month-in, month-out till he contracted HIV which brought him to his senses and back to God and then home.
Maybe your situation is not that grievous, your wife simply embarrassed you amidst your peers when she said something out of turn and since then you’ve been afraid to take her out to public functions. Perhaps, it’s your son that brought shame to the home when he jilted your family-friends’ daughter.
God’s panacea comes to all ailing families today. Those hurts and failures belong to the past, so LEAVE THEM THERE! Don’t carry yesterday’s burdens into today. The sinner has repented before God and received forgiveness; this is the most important part of the matter. If your heavenly Father has forgiven him/her then you need to follow suit as His child. God forgives every sinner who comes to Him in repentance. ‘If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness’1 And for the saints that have erred in someway in the past, God’s position is clear- ‘My dear children, I write these things so you may not sin, and if anyone does sin, we have a counsel for our defense in the Father’s presence, Jesus Christ the righteous one’.2
Forgiveness came by the cross, that’s where God dealt with the sin problem of humanity forever. He punished our sins- past, present and future in Jesus. There remains no more sacrifice for sins than that which has been made- Jesus died. Thus, God has legal grounds for forgiving and forgetting our sins.
Therefore, we ought to extend grace to this repentant member of our family, STOP viewing the person in the light of the past because God does not do that, He Himself took our sins far from us as far as the east is from the west. The way to deal with past hurts or failures is to take on God’s view point which was displayed in the story of the prodigal; His father ran to meet him and threw a welcome party as though the boy had been a good ambassador of the home all the while. He believed the best of the boy and treated him like a king. Love covers a multitude of faults and expects the best always. Show God’s love; don’t let what has happened in the past affect your family relationship and you’ll realize as you choose to extend grace that it’s not as difficult as you thought because you’ve been wired to live and act like God- your Father.
Scriptures:1 1John 1:9, 2 1John2:1
ASSIGNMENT: Read the story of the prodigal son once again [Luke 15:11-32] and post your comments about the love displayed by his father and the elder brother’s approach to the matter.
– Dr ifelayo ojo
Seek ye first … relationship with Him …
Bible Reading: Acts 27:9-44
One of the Pastors who have been very influential in my spiritual growth is Rev. Ade Adebayo. He is popularly known as Revo. If you do not love God’s word or you are nonchalant about the miraculous, a meeting with him will challenge your position. I use to attend the Church he oversees i.e. Mercy World Outreach, Ilorin, Nigeria. During those times, I saw him gave copious and accurate words of knowledge.
The most fascinating of them was when Revo gave ‘a word’ concerning me on a subject I had never discussed with anyone. It was a common thing to hear Revo make a statement like ‘there is someone here, ABC thing is going on in your life, and the Lord is saying you should do XYZ thing’. One day, I summoned courage and went to Revo to inquire how he is able to swiftly discern things by the Spirit. His explanation was insightful. One of the striking things he said was ‘when I see it or hear it, I just know that it is God’.
I love that statement. Do you know why? It’s because many other matured believers I have discussed with made similar statements. They may not normally give words of knowledge like Revo, but they just know when God is leading.
One characteristic of intimate couples is that they are able to communicate effectively without speaking; a wink of the eye can pass across a message. Sometimes by just looking at the face of your spouse, you can tell that (s)he is implying ‘it is time to go home’. If someone asks you how you were able to know that, I will not be surprised if you say – “I just know”. How are couples able to decode their body language easily? Did they attend a kind of ‘communicate-without-speeches lecture’? Not really. That is just an attribute of a close relationship.
We are about closing this series and my advice to you is that you ‘seek first to cultivate a good relationship with God, and after that, ‘recognizing His will’ will be added unto you. As you grow in grace and in the knowledge of God, you bask in an atmosphere where you just get to know that … ‘this is God’s leading’.
– tope aladenusi
A failure to ask ourselves some pertinent questions that are expected to challenge us into progress in life, results in age long self deceit and outright retrogression. (2Co 13:5) Be testing yourselves, if you are in the faith; be examining yourselves. You yourselves know that Jesus Christ is in you, do you not?-unless you fail to meet the test (ALT). Just as the speech of Peter gave him away to reveal his insincerity, empty boast and commitment to Jesus (Matthew 26: 73), many of our speeches in prayer, give us away in the face of our faith and trust in God.
In Acts of Apostles 12: 1-17, after Herod successfully killed James and saw that it pleased the Jews, he decided to proceed and kill the other Apostles one after the other. His next target, Peter, was arrested and locked up waiting for the day to be excommunicated. The church in their wisdom and fear (thinking that it was because they did not pray that made it possible for James to be killed) decided to gather to intercede on behalf of Peter. One would have thought that the whole of Roman empire should experience earthquake, since only Paul and Silas shook the prison yard (Acts 16: 25-26) but alas, the unbelief of those that assembled to pray was revealed, just as their speech gave them away. They said to the young maid that went to open the door for Peter “you are mad”. Both their speeches at prayer and the phrase you are mad gave them away because, out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks (Matthew 12: 34).
Deep down in their heart, it was obvious that they didn’t believe in what they were praying about, since when the miracle happened they did not believe but said the lady was mad. This implies that they were expecting something else perhaps, the news of his death.
I submit with all respect that they were playing all the while because they summarized the expectation of all they’ve been praying about in one phrase ‘you are mad’ (perhaps they never believed in the process). When Jesus finished praying at the tomb of Lazarus, (John 11: 41-43) He commanded him to come out. When Jesus finished praying on the mount (Matthew 14: 19) He broke the bread and it multiplied. When the Apostles finished praying in (Acts 4: 21-31) they preached the more with boldness. When Jesus finished praying at the garden of Gethsemane, He said nevertheless at thy will, and told the soldiers, I am he that you are looking for (Mathew 26: 39-42, John 18: 4-5). None of their speeches or actions after these prayer sessions shows betrayal of speech or unbelief, better still they acted knowing fully well that it is done.
Next time you want to pray, ask yourself if you believe God? After prayer, be desirous to know if you just finished praying or playing. Your subsequent actions and speeches will reveal what you just did.
-adeyiga awomuti
In the last write-up I proffered the new birth as God’s panacea for disobedience. Nevertheless, you say, at the risk of sounding renegade- “I thought a panacea was supposed to be a cure-all, a universal remedy, final answer to all problems and a perfect solution; well, my child is born again yet he is very disobedient”.
For such parents, guardians or care-givers, this short article is targeted.
Godly living is a result of a submission on the part of an individual to the spirit born after God. The fact that a person is born again does not mean he/she will automatically toe the line of God’s word. True, God is at work inside, but He will not fuss or force subjection to His will. Therefore, what you need to do is to help this child understand more about the life of God and you’ll see that child walking in obedience perfected in every good work.
For the saving grace of God has appeared for all people, training us to renounce godlessness and worldly passions and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present world.1
The solution to sins and every form of disobedience lies in recognition of God’s grace. The same grace by which we were saved is sufficient to keep us doing right. Do not attempt a reversal to the law in a bid to enforce obedience. The law did not work for the Israelites for which it was established, how much more the new creation?
For what the law was unable to do, weakened as it was through the flesh, that God did by sending His own son in the likeness of sinful flesh and on account of sin; He thus condemned sin in human nature.2
Does this mean that any and everything goes in the Christian home because of grace? NO! It does not mean that you do not have principles guiding your children in the home but that you carefully teach your child God’s word in recognition of grace and the righteous nature bestowed by the new birth. Then, you will see right living result in this child and your child will work out his salvation with fear and trembling because he recognizes that it is God Himself who is at work within, both to cause him to desire to do and to perform God’s pleasure. This will certainly be your pleasure too.
Scriptures: 1 Titus 2:11-12 2Romans 8:3
– Dr ifelayo ojo
When the time is right
Bible Reading: Acts 19:8-13
There is a right time for everything. When we fail to act at the right time, we make what is right to appear wrong. When we are convinced God wants us to embark on particular course, it is wise we make sure that we step out at the right time. Visions are always for an appointed time.
I’m sure Moses was not familiar with this when he killed an Egyptian (Exodus 2). God revealed His will to him by placing it as a desire in his heart. Moses hated discrimination. He was also going to be an instrument in the deliverance of Israelfrom Egypt. So when he saw an Egyptian hurting an Israelite, he did not wait for the right time. He murdered the Egyptian. But when the right time came, he led the entire Israelites out of Egypt without hurting a fly. When we want to use underhanded means in order to fulfill God’s will, it may be an indication that our timing is wrong.
Conversely, I’m convinced Apostle Paul understood this concept. God had told him to preach the gospel to the gentiles. One day he attempted to fulfill this mandate inAsia, but the Holy Spirit prevented him from going there (Acts 16:6). Paul exercised patience and went somewhere else. However, when the time was right, Paul went toAsia to fulfill his mandate. Guess what happened? Bible says “all the Jews and Greeks who lived in the province of Asia heard the word of the Lord. God worked unusual miracles through Paul. People would take handkerchiefs and aprons that had touched Paul’s skin to those who were sick. Their sicknesses would be cured, and evil spirits would leave them” Acts 19:10-12(GW).
God’s timing is never too early or too late. It is perfect. Sometimes it may not be according to how men expect it. The whole world may be saying that age is not on your side and you are yet to be in a relationship, but you will experience an unusual miracle at the right time. It may be difficult to break even in your business and you are on the verge of doubting God’s leading. But relax, after you have undergone this training period, your returns will be surplus to the point that thousands of people will be benefiting from it. Dearly beloved, press on in the right direction because when the time is right, you will experience an unusual miracle.
– tope aladenusi
Years back when I was a jobless graduate, God taught me concerning wealth. The revelations were tremendous. I like to share two with you.
MY LIFE DOES NOT DEPEND ON WHAT I AM PAID AND WHAT I AM PAID CANNOT MEET MY NEEDS.
It’s funny the way deceit is sown in cycles. Economists discovered and teach that man’s needs/wants are insatiable and that there have to be a formula for allocating the little/scarce resources between our needs. The economy however suggests to us that there is a level of income you attain where you will be free from want and have just anything you want. Another theory advocates that wants/needs grow to meet up with income.
The question is just how much is enough to satisfy you? For me in my jobless state, fifty thousand bucks monthly was more than enough to satisfy my dreams. Today that’s very insufficient. Rockefeller a famous philanthropist who gave out millions annually to charity was asked, “just how much money is enough” he replied “just a little more”. Whole nations make budgets worth trillions and still record a deficit. Men and women that have amassed millions still can’t sleep for fear of making more money. The most ferocious businessmen are still the richest men. More money did not bring rest. Many of the world richest men and women are broke today.
A mans worth is not his bank account. A mans dreams is not achieved nor hindered by his net physical worth. What we chase and get monetary wise will never meet our needs. Never! Jesus taught the rich not to trust in UNCERTAIN riches but to put their trust in God who gives us all things richly to enjoy. Money has wings and will surely fly. Praying and working all your life in other to meet your wants/needs will end in frustration.
There is a higher level. At that level God supplies all our needs not according to our income, but according to his infinite riches in glory. At that level God is our own shepherd and is responsible directly for our provision. At that level we cast all our cares upon Him for He cares for us. Earn millions but never forget that God is the supplier of your needs. God in your little is having abundance and without God in your abundance, you have nothing. Hallelujah. Why is that a better level?
Which will you choose? I give you a billion now and that’s all or I give you nothing but allow you access to an account that has enough to supply whatever you need, whenever you need it and wherever you need it all the days of your life. I will choose the regular supply. That means if I am trapped in the desert like Haggai, a well will be dug for me; that means if I am in the cave like Elijah, ravens will be sent to me; that means if I find myself in the wilderness for as long as forty years, manna will come directly from heaven; that means every rock can produce water for me if I get thirsty; that means instead of looking at my oil (salary) like the widow of Zeraphat, I can keep pouring (spending) on His instruction and fill as many jars as I have (meet as many needs as may arise). That means whatever I get is protected and shielded from devourers. That’s my greatest confidence in finances. The understanding that at every point in time my needs have being known and prepared for beforehand by the most high.
It is the blessings of God that makes rich and added no sorrow. Glory! I can do all things. Equal to any task because God supplies my needs directly.
-emmanuel aladenusi
Cover to cover was the game,
From Chase through Jeffrey, even Guyton wasn’t spared
All bowed to the master,
Who could read all through?
The question hung standing more as the aim
Though we sought to fill our vacuum.
But in a corner,
An old rugged book sat,
Funny no one
Seemed to give it a second thought
Few fulfilled the promise of reading through
And though they couldn’t nor I
I knew I could not do without it
Lies were told in it
Bringing humanity doomed to death
Coups plotted in it
Some won, some lost
Battles fought
Some won, some lost
Strength displayed,
Trust betrayed,
But above all
A love story was all it portrayed
Of a king going through death
To pay the eternal price of freedom
For a people who never knew the bondage they were held
I cried
How could someone be so kind?
To stand for them while the spat on him,
While they mocked him, scourged him, crucified him
Leaving him to die a cruel death
I could have understood if I had a price to pay
If I needed to complete the task he went through
But in a fainting but yet victorious voice he made me know
It is finished (Te Te les tai)
Nothing more could be added
As he took his rightful place
Seated beside the father
Tears streamed down my face and I
Knew I had found it
The book that revealed The Way of Life
But much more
I had the life within
Residing forever
Filling this vacuum with indescribable joy
-bolaji akanni
“Accordingly, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old is gone, lo the new has come”. But all these things are from God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Christ and has given to us the ministry of reconciliation, which is that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their sins against them, and committing to us the message of reconciliation.” 1
The new birth is the work of the Holy Spirit in the life of an individual to create a new spirit in the likeness of God Himself inside him/her. It is not a change of character or attitude; rather it results in behavioral changes.
In ministering the new birth to your family, especially the children; you need to help them realize that sins are a result of the sinful nature which all humans inherited from the first man- Adam. Be graphic when you illustrate the fall of man to them and the efforts of humanity ever since to please God. For example you can buy a video of the ‘Ten Commandments’ and let them watch the interaction between God and the Israelites through Moses.
Tell them about the sacrifices instituted for sins under the law and how those sacrifices could not take away sins. (See Hebrews 10:1-10)
Then introduce Jesus to them as the solution provided by God. God Himself taking on human flesh to die as man for the sins of men; so that sons of men will become the sons of God. Let them know that an expression of faith in Christ is all that is needed for them to become beneficiaries of all that He’s done. Simple trust, belief in the heart of a child that Jesus died to save him/her makes him born again. Now, you can expect the best behavior from that child as he/she is taught by God and you are aiding the process of mind renewal by teaching your child God’s word and living out the life of God consistently. Do NOT underestimate that kid of yours from the moment he gets born again because he has the Holy Ghost just like you do!
This article is based on the assumption that you- the reader are actually born again yourself because you cannot introduce another person into what you have not partaken of. You become a minister of the new birth by virtue of the new life you have received yourself.
Scripture Ref: 12Corinthians 5: 17-19 (Revised Berkely Version)
Dr ifelayo ojo
Choosing the means of confirmation
Bible Reading: Judges 6:25-40
One of the challenges faced by many Christians is that they want to be sure they are led by God before they make a move. This is good. In our previous messages, we highlighted some ways of getting confirmation to a perceived ‘leading of God’, e.g. agreement with God’s word, inner peace, prophecies of other believers etc. However, there is a way some Christians like to get confirmation that may not be too appropriate. This style was copied from Gideon. Let’s read about his story:
“Gideon said to God, “If this is right, if you are using me to save Israel as you’ve said,
then look: I’m placing a fleece of wool on the threshing floor. If dew is on the fleece only, but the floor is dry, then I know that you will use me to save Israel, as you said.”
That’s what happened. When he got up early the next morning, he wrung out the fleece–enough dew to fill a bowl with water!” Judges 6:37-38 (MSG)
So it is not surprising to see some brothers say “Lord, if you want me to marry that sister, let her say “hi” to me after church”. Some business men will say “Lord, if you really want me to enter into that business, let that investor visit me again in my office”. Do you know how these sound to me? It’s like Judas Iscariot saying “Lord, if you really want me to betray Jesus, let the High Priest accept the deal of paying me a huge sum after the betrayal”.
What Gideon did may be appropriate in his time because of the level of knowledge they operated in. Moreover, God was not leading them by default like we enjoy today. Something you should also note is that the Bible says the devil is the ‘god of this world’ and so he is able to quickly arrange the circumstances you desire to see as a confirmation. Imagine that when Jesus was fasting in the wilderness, he said ‘Lord, if it is your will that I break this fast, let there appear a loaf of bread’. Of course, the devil will appear and say ‘Since thou hast the son of God, command this stone to be made bread’.
Although we may have used such methods before and it worked, we need to exercise caution as it is highly susceptible to the devil’s exploitation.
– tope aladenusi
A man left Chicago for a vacation in Key West. His wife was on a trip and planned to fly down to meet him the next day. When the man arrived in Florida, he emailed his wife to let her know he had arrived, but mistyped her address. Instead, his message went to the inbox of a woman whose husband had just passed away.
When the grieving widow opened her email, she read the message, screamed and passed out cold. The woman’s daughter rushed into the room and found this note on the computer screen …
“My darling wife: just checked in. everything is prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to being with you again. Your loving husband”.
– Anonymous