Every family requires these three elements for survival in the world we live in. Yet, many of us have overlooked their importance to our own peril. Many people in our world have lost any sense of faith in the ability of God to come through in their relationships with their spouses or children; they have no hope that things will get better because they have been disappointed many times; and their love has waxed so soft that it’s almost completely melted away in the face of the harsh heat of reality.
I hope to challenge this vicious cycle fading faith, hapless hope and lethargic love in this new series on the role of the ingredients of faith, hope and love in family life and child care. The plan is to restore our faith, renew our hope and refresh our love so the wheels of family life can run smoothly once again as they get oiled with these graces. The family remains the functional unit of society and almost every societal ill can be traced back to a breakdown in the family structure. Christian homes which should serve as a model for the world like a city set upon a hill are sadly not exempt from this unfortunate situation of decay… How do we return and take our place in the plan of God for the world? How shall the sons of God be manifest in this dying world?
It is when we shine as lights in the midst of a wicked and perverse nation. It is when our faith is so strong that nothing else matters; our hope is so tangible it is almost palpable and our love- our pure unconditional love is so real that it overflows in selfless actions.
I will introduce the subject of faith as a necessary family life ingredient today with the following story of the Syro-Phoenician woman’s encounter with Jesus when He walked this earth:
From there Jesus set out for the vicinity of Tyre. He entered a house there where he didn’t think he would be found, but he couldn’t escape notice. He was barely inside when a woman who had a disturbed daughter heard where he was. She came and knelt at his feet, begging for help. The woman was Greek, Syro-Phoenician by birth. She asked him to cure her daughter.
He said, “Stand in line and take your turn. The children get fed first. If there’s any left over, the dogs get it.”
She said, “Of course, Master. But don’t dogs under the table get scraps dropped by the children?”
Jesus was impressed. “You’re right! On your way! Your daughter is no longer disturbed. The demonic affliction is gone.” She went home and found her daughter relaxed on the bed, the torment gone for good. [Mark 7:24-29 (The Message)]
This woman wanted her daughter healed by Christ- she believed and knew that Jesus could cure her daughter and she didn’t get daunted in her faith even when He told her that healing was first for the children then left-over scraps could be scrambled by dogs. She knew Jesus had the power to heal and she wasn’t going to give up at the initial words which some would have felt was discouraging at the least or even found insulting. Jesus recognized her faith and granted her heart’s desire!
We see also the faith of a parent in the story of Jarius- a ruler of the synagogue who wanted healing for his daughter as well before further complications arose and the little girl was dead. Yet, Jesus said to him- “Don’t be afraid; just believe”. These same words are for you today- do not entertain fear in your parenting, let the power of Christ be manifest as you tackle the affairs of daily living in this world; whatever the situation may be in your home, however complicated it may seem; take the words of Jesus to heart- “Don’t be afraid; just believe!”. Remember we are joint heirs together with Christ; for as many as received Him even to as many as believe on His name- to them He gave the power to be called sons of God. Healing is the children bread. You can experience it in every area of your family life. When faith is present, contradictions don’t faze us, the cares of this world don’t break us, we have our faith grounded in He who was and is and is to come! Hallelujah…
We’ll continue with the subject of faith next week before we delve into hope and love in the family… till then, continue in God’s grace.
In Christ,
Dr ifelayo ojo
Upon seeing the inscription “Military Zone” at any place, even before reading the concluding part, our intuitive reasoning mutters “Keep off”. To some of us, Military Zone means ‘Dangerous Zone’, while to some others; it means a “no go” area or impossible area to reach. Only very few of us pause to question why such a location which possibly is cited outside a military barracks should have an inscription meant to scare people away.
Similarly, there are some issues or ideas that we have consciously or otherwise branded “Military Zones”. Most times, we get so informed and knowledgeable about them to the point where we inscribe on our hearts; “keep off”. This has lingered on for a while and we have neglected the possible option of probing or inquiring why they have been so branded.
For example, in prayers, there are some myths commonly believed and adhered to which have greatly hindered effectiveness in prayers and short changed peoples prayer lifestyle. These myths have similar rhythms in our hearts to that of ‘Military Zone, Keep off’. As a result of this, our prayer lives have been stagnated, and questioning the status quo seems to be an insurmountable mountain.
Let’s take a quick look at some commonly believed “Prayer Myths” and assess their truthfulness.
Distance Barrier
It is commonly reported that due to the fact that God is in the heavens above and we are on earth, it is imperative that when we pray, we must intensify effort so that our prayers can go beyond the third heavens and reach God.
Much as scriptures also admonishes us to pray intensively/earnestly, it was not with the intention of having our prayers penetrate heaven. We should not forget the fact that God is a Spirit and they that must reach Him will have to do that in Spirit and in truth (John 4:24). Also, He resides in us through His Spirit. “Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, andthat the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?” (Corinthians 6:16). In the spirit realm where our prayers are channeled through, there is no distance. God’s presence is always with us and He immediately hears our petitions.
The World is too populated
Another good reason purportedly given is that the world population is over 6 billion and it has become increasingly difficult to gain God’s attention when we pray. As a matter of fact, God can get loaded with simultaneous prayers that He may be partial in giving them order of preference. Therefore, we would have to adopt measures like early morning rise from our beds so that we can pray before others wake up, or we map out strategic periods that seems as though most people are not praying so that we can specially draw God’s attention.
Honestly, all these assertions can only be true if God were to be a man, but God is not. He is a Spirit, so human reasoning of handling simultaneous things does not apply to Him. Furthermore, His ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts. As the heavens are far from the earth so are His thoughts from ours (Isaiah 55:8). Have you ever asked yourself the question, what if everyone wakes up at the same early time, will it not amount to the same thing? In addition, while a particular country or continent may be asleep, some other countries or continents may be awake. It means there could still be interference.
Amazingly, God does not need some people to be asleep so that others can be awake so as to be able to effectively attend to our prayers. He is Omnipresent. The world vast population is not a problem to Him. He is the creator of everything that is in existence.
Tears specially draw God’s attention
I have often heard people say that tears either during prayers or not draw God’s attention. Therefore, when people pray, some out of genuine spiritual move shed tears, while some others force tears to come out because they want God to be pitifully moved about their situation.
This may sound very hard, but it is the truth. God is not moved by anyone’s tears. Tears are characteristics of human frailty. There are so many other factors that can attract God’s mercy upon an individual like a genuine repentant heart not tears. Always remember that God constantly looks at the intention of your heart and not the tears of your face.
Prayer of Agreement is stronger
One other myth commonly believed in Christendom is that prayer of agreement is stronger than prayer of an individual i.e. offered independently.
There is no scriptural revelation that the prayer of two or more people is stronger than that of one person. In fact scriptures reveals that the effectual prayer of a righteous man avail much (James 5:16). Much as bible reveals that whatsoever is bound in heaven is bound on earth…where two or more are gathered in my name there I am in their midst, we also have a confirmation in scriptures that God permanently lives within a believer through His Spirit.
The effectual prayer of an individual is as strong as that of two or more people. If only we passionately pray like Isaiah did, we can achieve more than stopping rain for three and half years.
Rise above these “Military Zone, Keep off” thoughts and pray like you have never prayed before. Pray anywhere and anytime. We are admonished to pray without ceasing, which means continuously.
– adeyiga awomuti
The Yoruba’s have a proverb that He who follows a dog would soon eat faeces. Apologies if the thought of this causes you to puke; but this was stated following the observation that stray dogs would just go about eating anything … even faeces.
Somehow in a distant land away from familiar faces and scenes I learnt a vital lesson about companions which drew me to the proverb above. The companions we keep would affect us either for good or for bad. And it would not just fall like ripe cherries; it would have to be worked on. The natural drift of the world is toward itself i.e. worldliness. So most likely, if you are left all by yourself, there is a 100:1 chance that the person that comes your way would be asking you to compromise your stand.
We have to guard our Christianity and one way comes by guarding those we flock with. David said “I am a companion of all them that fear thee and of them that keep thy precepts.” (Psalms 119:74). Just as iron sharpens iron, friends sharpen the minds of each other (Proverbs 27:17). Again we hear Paul saying “And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works” (Heb 10:24)
I had to break the temptation of just assuming that being in the midst of Christians without consciously pursuing our individual and collective Christianity was all that mattered. I mean we could tatter on end and talk on and on, but many times this was not fulfilling. My spirit yearned for a song, for a phrase of prayer, for a word of encouragement. But somehow I didn’t understand how to make it look real and not force it down others throat. But after a while, I got to understand that deep down inside of most of us was that yearning as well. Why am I seemingly drifting off the topic: it’s because it is not just about who you flock with but what you do together. A group of Christians drinking coke and relishing every lewd joke does not make the gathering more christianly than a group of sinners drinking beer and sharing porn.
Do not consider it strange to pray together. I repeat Christianity is not about living in a house with a huge Christian logo on the door or driving in a car with a huge logo at the rear mud guard. It should be in the popular phrase of the early church – “… and they continued steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and in prayers.”
If you find yourself in an unfamiliar environment like me, don’t get lost in the crowd. Seek your kind and flourish.
Dr bolaji akanni
A lion is a pretty strong beast. I am always fascinated when I see the claws, those teeth and the huge paws. I wonder how Daniel would really have felt knowing he did not just have to deal with one but was flung into a den of lions. Truly when the Lord is on your side … even lions can be tamed. Well, today however, I am again reminded that as fierce and strong a lion looks, it still tactfully takes on its prey. I mean it tends to always chase after a herd of buffaloes but would in the process isolate one. One very unlucky victim suddenly becomes cornered and fight as it may, it just cannot match those paws all by itself. ISOLATION…..a strategy of the lion for centuries. Oddly enough the devil who tends to think he is a lion loves this strategy as well.
But I am not here to enumerate devil’s tactics. Rather to give a word of caution to you, to me. Are you getting bored with the brotherhood? Are you drafting excuses to stay all by yourself? Well … Be careful. It might be nice to know it was spent in some prayer sessions or truly waiting on the Lord. But don’t bask in isolation for too long. Learn to be in the company of the believers in prayers, in worship, in study and even in tearing of bread.
Hebrews 10:25 gave a word of caution to us being by ourselves. Have you noticed our fathers in the faith? Some great errors were made upon standing alone – David, Samson, Noah, Lot, etc. Be on guard. Do not despise the brotherhood. No doubt there may be arguments with your brother but let love grow in the midst of us. Let our unity truly be strength. Let us pray and not tatter endlessly on what should be that is not. Let us worship God and wait on the Lord. Let our meetings together be a source of inspiration and not a means of disintegration. Let us truly be one. Let us meet and desire to meet again and again. Let us meet for God and not for ourselves.
I have always been moved close to tears each time home is brought closer than I could ever imagine in the midst of the brotherhood. While briefly in Asia I had the opportunity of attending a house fellowship; I would not trade that experience for any other. Everything seems to stand still. Truly how wonderful and how beautiful it is for brethren to dwell in unity. When I consider the one to whom we are gathered, all tribal sentiments, all divisions, all gender strife, all bickering, all mistakes, all errors, all headaches seem inconsequential in the light of Christ to whom we are gathered. And they can’t prevent me from coming again and again.
Are you miles away from one? Start one at home, in the field, at work. It doesn’t require much really. Just you and another believer.
Don’t be isolated from the brotherhood. Don’t be on your own.
Till I see you brother and sister. Go be with the brotherhood close to you.
Dr. bolaji akanni
As a consultant, I have worked in over 7 countries with a variety of Companies specialized in banking & finance, insurance, telecommunications, e-commerce, manufacturing, entertainment and energy. I have noticed one thing that seems common with the employees of almost all these Companies; they complain about their jobs.
Why is this so?
Sometime ago, I discussed this with a couple of colleagues and I appreciated their responses. One of them explained that it was because “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence”; the other quickly pleaded guilty. She recalled that she had fasted before she got her job and had testified in church when she got it. But recently she noticed, if she was not complaining about her salary, she was grumbling over another colleague’s attitude, overwork, boredom or something else.
I have been brooding over this matter since we had the conversation and have identified several reasons that could lead to our constant complaining. Today, I want to share with you the one that sits on top of my list.
Every believer has a unique purpose in this world and our exposure, experiences or education should actually help us fulfill this purpose. There is one major reason for which we are alive and every other thing in our lives should tilt towards that one thing. Your work could serve as a preparation ground for fulfilling your purpose or could even present you with the platform to do so. If you cannot see how what you currently do is placing you in the path of purpose, you will always complain. If you do not have your eyes fixed on purpose while you work, every little thing will annoy you. The Message translation of Hebrews 12:2 says “Study how Jesus did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed, … he could put up with anything along the way: cross, shame, whatever.”
Beloved, where are you headed? Are your eyes fixed on your purpose?
tope aladenusi
| I am being made to understand that God is able. He does not need a set of process to effect a change. All that matters is His word as a backing. For by two immutable things in which it is impossible for God to lie.
He maketh all things beautiful in His own time should not be interpreted as weakness or that He is trying to make an event happen. Holy Spirit please help pass this message across.
The bible says He calleth those things that be not as though they were. Romans 4:17
He said in a certain place that, are my hands too short or my ears deaf?
God said let there be…..
He didn’t say let the protons merge with the neutrons and the electrons surrounding. Then let’s wait for the famous KABOOM!!!
No he said let there be and there was.
I pray and desire to be able to trust God for my salary at the end of the month as much as I would believe He is able to cause me to abound beyond that same paycheck.
I trust God to allow that headache be healed as much as He would cause new eyes where their once was none or cause new feet where there was once none.
Because He is God all by himself and He doesn’t need building blocks to achieve His aim.
Sometime ago I used to try and rationalise how it would come to pass. I mean try to explain and point out every path to a miracle. But now I am left with no other thought than to wonder at the majesty of the one with whom nothing shall be called impossible.
Don’t limit God today!! Trust Him in faith that He is able to do.
Dr. bolaji akanni |
For some reason I was too weak to go to church on Sunday, I decided to spend time with Dan Foster on Praise & Inspiration on inspiration FM and I got to hear these testimonies.
Two young people fell in love and got married and within one year of their marriage, God blessed them; wife got pregnant with a set of twins, and they had nine months of blissful journey carrying the baby and then at delivery, one of the babies died and then some days later, the wife also died. And this man called in to praise God and asked Him for forgiveness about three weeks after.
Another Lady called in to say she heard God lead her out of a relationship, to marry a person and within six month of marriage she found out her husband had another child outside of marriage and she was heart broken but life then goes on.
Another lady called in to talk about the miscarriage she had within one year of marriage that left her bitter but she’s now encouraged to bless God!
I asked myself what can prepare a person for times like this? This man got married looking forward to a life time of Joy, Peace, Love and Accomplishments and now he is experiencing this?
What could have prepared a person for such emotional swing; joy one moment and the next what seems like an endless pit of sadness?
Only God and God alone!
I was also listening to some analysis of a new book about the unknown prophet over the weekend and one of the things she mention about this present times is that the enemy is attacking Christian marriages; Leading people to choose wrongly and even when they choose rightly distract them with challenges of life to keep them from working for the kingdom. So that you hear some people say they are so beaten they feel they have nothing to offer. Let me tell about the Wounded Healer! By His stripes you are healed! The stripes of Jesus did not keep him from being a healer rather it confirmed his being a healer. All your scars are for the healing of others.
I never knew the kind of joys and sorrows I have experienced since being married could ever exist. I never knew I could come this far almost scar less but you know what I am here today more resolved than ever before not to waste any of my pain and joy. And so I have decided to write after every pain or joy.
We have been talking about the perquisites to marriage for sometime now and I have come to the conclusion that no long list will answer the question. The one and only thing you need before you proceed and while on this journey of marriage is God. Quit playing church and get real with God. Get into the Bible and study the word, make it food for your soul. Learn to be a Christian by reading about the life of Christ. Understand the grace and new life you have been called to by reading the New Testament thoroughly. Study the Old to understanding how the journey began and appreciate the kind of God you worship. Stop toying with sin; the wages of sin is death!
The only reason we fall apart is because God is not the one holding our very core together. A solid relationship with God will walk you through every storm or success in life.
Get and Remain Connected to God!
Shalom!
omolola ezeifeoma
Have you noticed something common among people who would probably be referred to as poor, losers, bankrupt or failures? There is always someone or something they think is responsible for their predicament. If it is not because their boss is wicked, then it must be because their spouse is uncaring, their followers are uncooperative or the government is unproductive. They always find it legitimate to put the blame on others and this has always hindered them from advancing with the right pace.
John Maxwell once wrote, “it is easier to move from failure to success than from excuses to success”. Remember Adam in the Garden of Eden. When he ate the forbidden fruit and God questioned him, he gave a nice excuse – “the woman you gave me as a companion, she gave me fruit from the tree, and, yes, I ate it”. As far as he was concerned, God was the initiator and his woman was the perpetrator of his problems. But that did not vindicate him in God’s sight. His excuses only worsened the existing problem.
Things may not be 100% right in your environment. Therefore, if you are looking for someone or something to put the blame on, the good news is that you will definitely find one. But the bad news is that you will shut your mind from solutions and possibilities, and it will be more difficult to move towards success. But you can decide to get rid of excuses, look inward and overcome the obstacles on your way.
– tope aladenus
It appears to me that there are more birds than human beings. In spite of this, I have never seen two birds colliding in the sky. God has prepared enough space for all of them. Similarly, the earth was designed by God to permit everyone to flourish without necessarily pulling others down. You don’t need to pull others down in order to climb up. You don’t need to destroy others in order to build yourself. You don’t need to talk evil of others in order to appear good. You don’t need to make others poor because you want to be rich.
I have seen many people in organizations attempt to pull others down because they wanted to climb up, and I think they are making a fundamental flaw in life. Judas Iscariot wanted more money, and he thought he could do that by betraying Jesus. He ended up hanging himself on a tree while helping Jesus Christ to fulfill his purpose. That’s why you shouldn’t be disturbed when you see others trying to pull you down. In reality, they are only assisting to push you to the place of purpose. Conversely, you should never be the one trying to pull anyone down.
As you journey through life, I want you to go with the mindset that there is enough room for all. In whatever you do, remember that being a stumbling block to others does not grant you a stepping stone. Flourish … and let others do the same.
– tope aladenusi
I never knew it had happened to someone else until I heard the song.
Shattered dreams, shattered dreams
Nothing I planned had turned out right,
Shattered dreams, shattered dreams,
My life without Christ is shattered dreams
As I listened, my mind went down memory lane, years back. Very early in life, I had already laid out plans of what I wanted out of life. I saw my classmates failing exams; I was always coming out in flying colours. Some fell sick and had to drop in class; my ill-health cases were never severe. Some of my colleagues lost their parent that early. Others struggled to eat thrice a day; I always whistle with filled stomach. I could still remember my classmates that died.
It seemed I was untouchable. Life was treating me fine. My plans were working out. I thought it would continue, but I was wrong.
Like a fierce wind, coming first as a gentle breeze, life troubles came upon me. My health started failing me. Before I could settle that, my academics careened down the slope. I saw my dream of a blissful love-life drifting away like the mist in the air. Things were falling apart. All efforts to fix back my life proved abortive.
Helpless, I watched my hope for living ticking away. My very existence was at stake. That was when I shouted for help from my Maker. Jesus came to the rescue. When He told me to surrender and follow Him, I willingly obeyed. And I was saved. Then I understood that all my plans without Christ were nothing but shattered dreams.
– okenna igbokwe