Find listed below, some examples of sibling rivalry in the bible:
- Cain and Abel
- Jacob and Esau
- Leah and Rachel
- Joseph and his brothers
This is to show how this problematic phenomenon has existed since the creation and subsequent fall of man. The tendency in the natural man is for competition, selfishness and a desire to be greater than his fellows. While not condemning a pure desire to excel and succeed at endeavours, I wish to propose God’s method and will to you:
For through the grace given to me I say to every man among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith. (Romans 123 NASB)
We are to live as individually unique members of Christ’s body, exploring and utilizing to the fullest the riches of grace bestowed upon us and showcasing God’s workmanship.
It is unwise to work by comparisons or judge our physical or spiritual achievements by other people’s attainment- whether they be siblings or fellow heirs of God’s grace because each one shall stand before God and be judged as individuals at the end of the age. (See 2Corinthians 1012, Galatians 62-5, Romans 1510-13)
The desire of God is that we complement one another and help each other be the best that He has created us to be.
Parents, learn to commend good behaviour and praise worthy achievements without comparisons amongst your children. Let your children express their grievances and do not take sides with anyone, just correct bad behaviour without putting any child down as the ‘bad one’. Give gifts to each child according to need not just equally because you want to avoid jealousy. As you practice these things, the rivalry and competition amongst your children will not disappear suddenly but they’ll grow to know how they can resolve differences without unhealthy crisis if you don’t give up.
Children, therefore, be imitators of God as beloved children; and walk in love, just as God loved you, and gave Himself up for us (Ephesians51,2a). Display love in relating with your siblings, do not insist on your own rights. Be willing to share. Rejoice in the achievements of your sibs and love them for it, even if your brother or sister gets something which you personally desire before you do.
As a family, do all that will make for peace always…
– Dr ifelayo ojo
